M I N I B I K E W I N T E R V
F e b r
u a r y 1 3 - 1
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages and sizes!
Step right up and prepare to be amazed and aroused! For 5 years now, in
the heart of Cascadia, Portland, Oregon, there has been only one winter
bicycle festival in the Pacific Northwest, and that festival is Mini Bike
Winter. Created by free-fun-minded individuals as an excuse to to get
krunk and wreak some havoc. A combination of thrills, chills, spills,
and liquor is just what the doctor ordered to warm the cockles of your heart
and in your pants in these dreary winter months. Enjoyed by all walks of
life, be it Zoobombers, daily commuters, bike messengers, weekend warriors, or
the occasional passer-by, Mini Bike Winter is a free weekend of bike
debauchery brought to you by the local bike community, and open to everyone
who wants to have a good time. This year, all the stops are being pulled
out. Stencil night, Olympic torch ride, mini bike hill climbs, downhill
races, bike-drawn chariot death matches, fashion shows, bike beauty contests,
live music, DJ's, community brunches, death, destruction, mayhem, no-pants
dance parties, Olympic-inspired feats of bike strength and stamina, and of
course, a little bit of nudity. Ok, so more like a lot of
nudity. Mini Bike Winter is a phenomenon that should not be
missed, and you do, you will be ridiculed by all of your friends and family.
...::| Prepare for
battle: Thursday Feb
14th
|::...
8:00pm, Freegeek, 1731 SE 10th Ave
Stencils | Craft | Shit-talking | Trophy making | Scheming | Flirting | Saying goodbye to your last sober moments for 60 hours
...::|Friday the 15th|::...
2:00pm, Ladd's Addition Immediately precedes lunch at Stripes place.
1. Bicycles optional, but if used, must be 16" wheels or smaller.
2. Flags placed at opposite rose garden traffic diamonds. To capture flag, bring it inside the center traffic circle.
3. You can only tag opponents, not their bikes, and only when they are on your side. The flag carrier can be tagged anywhere.
4. Dress accordingly.
Spectators can hang out at the center traffic circle to watch the action.
Potluck "Dunch"
4:00pm
1342 se 32nd ave
Bring a donation or food to share
...::| Opening Ceremonies|::...
 
8:00pm, Colonel Summers Park, Se 20th &
Belmont
Dance Party in the Park
9:00pm, Torch Ride!
A brightly-lit ride to the Pyle. Bring your blinky shit, and/or your flaming
shit.
Start location: Col. Summers | Destination: The Pyle ( sw 10th
& oak)
All bicyclists of Portland are invited, with as much bright light and/or fire
on their bikes as they can muster. Be prepared to light the city with your hot
glowing ass.
9:30pm, Zoobomb Badass Challenge
What: ride/get to top of the goddamn hill without engine or max or mini-bike
towline. . Winner lights torch at top of hill. With lighters and maps
provided. Only Badasses need apply. 18" wheels or smaller, singlespeed, to
enter.
the prize= The Official Mini-Bike-Winter Olympic Torch,
to be proudly displayed all through MBW weekend events, and... something cool
from Veloce Bikes!!
11:30pm, Family Bomb
first ride down the hill: everyone down except medics, corkers and racers!
11:40pm, 12" Bomb
very simple= 12 average wheel size, single speed.
the prize= a bitchin' trophy, and...a $25 gift certificate to Bike
Gallery!!
11:50pm, Skate Bomb
Skate the zoobomb hill. Prizes, trophies, glory
12:00am, Gravity Race
Saftey Gear:
Full face helmets are mandatory. This is for your own
protection.
Racing leathers are suggested, but not mandatory.
Full finger gloves are mandatory. Leather is highly
suggested.
Knee Pads, elbow pads are suggested, but not mandatory.
Gravity Bike Specifications:
Max bike weight of 75lbs. Max combines weight of bike
and rider 300lbs.
Max wheelbase, axel to axel of 50 inches.
Fairings are not allowed.
Wheels cannot exceed 20"
...::|
Medieval Day: Saturday the 16th
|::...
Tired of all the traffic signals running your life? don't know how to
find the horse house for potlucky brunchy goodness?
no light geek tackler will show you the way.
(please note that due to space restrictions and turning radii,
tallbikes, longbikes and chariots will have to go through a solitary
signal)
meet @ alberta park (ne 19th & killingsworth) at 9:30, ride leaves at 10:30
Potluck Brunch 11:11am, Brunch, 6809 N Willamette
Bring a donation or food to share
1:00pm, Chariot Rights of Passage
Location: group ride from brunch
Chariot Beauty Contest
Teamwork drinking
Chariot Speed and Endurance Race
3:00pm, BEN HURT II Chariot Wars
BEN HURT II Chariot Wars be a post-apocalyptic battle for life and limb.
YAR! It be a true test of might and stoopidity. Can you ride a little girl's
bike and get hit the most hardest by a padded mace? Or would you rather cheat,
(cheating is allowed) and use chicken-shit bombs made from real chicken-shit
like the chicken-shit you are?! Or maybe just show up in your underwear and
win anyway because you are badass? Hey, it happened last year...
There will be a multitude of chariot tests, from speed to steed, gladiator to
flatulator, chugger to bugger, flailing to wailing, and dying. Yes dying, and
after that, drinking. Okay, fine, during too.
No rules | Last Chariot Rolling | A chariot is 3+ wheels that carries 2
people | Both Gladiator and Steed need to be in contact with their chariot at
all times | Padded Weapons
While there are no rules, there is knight's honor, so if you see something
that isn't cool, team up on the asshole and bring him/her down.
Oh, and you will get hurt.
7:30pm, Dance Your Tired Ass Off Party
Location: Meet under the west side of the Morrison Bridge @ 7:30PM | Donate
what you can, free event!! |
Dance Teams: Brakes | Chain Reaction | BCclettes
Bands: Here Comes a Big Black Cloud | TAFKAADPTHGATDI (zoobomb cover band) |
Golden Greats
Metal and lace fashion show
...::|
Winter Olympics: Sunday the 17th
|::...
11:11am, Brunch, 2248 SE Brooklyn St 97202
1:30pm, Minibikewinter 2008 Olympics, SE Water and Main, on the esplanade
Fastest minibike | minibike tag | relay | derby |
bike limbo | Rollo | Death Jam | Derby |
Sprockettes | Sproing | Jousting | Cupcake Challenge | and
more!
9:00pm, Tour de Bomb, SW Oak & 10th, zoobomb pyle
OPEN CLASS
Ride whatever the hell you want if you don't want to race in the other cats.
T. trophy, and...a $25 gift certificate to Bike
Gallery!
FREAKBIKE
CLASS
if it's welded, chopped, screwed, doesn't fit in
the 16" class; & not a big bike, you can't race it in open class, isn't a
gravity bike... or it is gravity bike but it's too small or too big, low
riders, tall bikes, trikes, choppers, swing bikes & assacares welcome! ps-
there is a sick 1st place prize. for riggity.
TOUR DE BOMB
Official Zoobomb race. This is the most important zoobomb of the year.
Minibikes - For the purpose of this event, a
Minibike will be defined as having a child's bike frame with unmodified
geometry designed for 16" or smaller wheels. A fork for 16" or smaller wheels
(doesn't have to be the fork that came with the frame). Two wheels, each 16"
or smaller (no average wheel size allowance). Single speed.
Racecourse - Traditional starting line, Newbomb to Fountain, no Mad
Max. The finish line will be a little different. We will eliminate the
final left hand turn immediately before the finish. I know we're cutting into
the number of exciting wrecks, but I think it will allow for a more spectator
friendly finish line. The finish line will be the leading edge of the
crosswalk (shown in yellow), or wherever the tape is stretched across the
road. If the tape is somehow not exactly at the leading edge of the crosswalk,
the tape is the finish line.
Conduct - We want a clean race. No intentional contact, call your
passes, no projectiles, no fireworks. There will be the traditional
countdown at the start, and riders will leave at the word "Zoobomb!" Wear a
helmet. Really. Additional protection is encouraged, as I've always found
the asphalt to be abrasive and unforgiving.
There will be three races Sunday night. The first race will be Open Class,
followed by Freakbike Class, then Minibike Class. Anyone not racing will be
encouraged to bomb down ahead to spectate at the finish line or at one of the
dangerous corners along the route. If you choose to stand at one of the
corners, stay out of the road and keep the noise levels down, as we don't want
to piss off the local residents too much.
Prizes - There will be trophies, prizes, and eternal glory for the
first three finishers. There will also be a special coasterbrake prize
for the first finisher with a coasterbrake and no handbrake. If a coasterbrake
finishes in the top three, the rider will get the prize for placing and
the coasterbrake prize.
12:00am, Legoland
Nerds on Wheels |Beer Bungee | Ben Hur race
Award ceremony
...::|
Nurse Your Wounds: Monday the
18th |::...
Monday
11:11am - 4pm, Potluck Brunch, 5825 ne 11th
Bring a donation or food to share
Want to help us document all this amazing free fun?
Show up with your camera, or a tablet and chisel... it will last longer
Either way you had better share it with us
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